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Everybody I have lived with has gotten on me for “wasting cereal”.  These stories of my food “waste” have been embellished to ridiculous proportions, raising me to a villainous stature comparable to Jack the Ripper, or the Hamburglar.  Please allow me to explain.

The waste in question refers to my refusal to eat the bottom sixth of a box of cereal, because by this point it is inedible.  It’s all crumbs.  If I were to pour it into my bowl and fill it up with some milk, it would just form a disgusting crumby paste that is hardly appetizing.  Cereals that consist of uniform shapes or pieces such as Cheerios or Coooooookie Crisp are usually spared from this fate, but for more flimsy cereals like Corn Flakes?  Forget it!

INEDIBLE

Because of this, the box usually ends up thrown away, much to the chagrin of any onlookers.  I must assure you that this amount is fairly trivial, though it is greatly exaggerated at every retelling of the complaint, with “bottom half of the box” being the largest, and most ludicrous, claim.  Dear friends, this is not true!  People make it sound like I am throwing away whole, delicious, cooked turkeys in front of starving African orphans.  It’s really more like when you are eating a banana, and sometimes there’s that little bit at the bottom of it that you don’t quite pry loose from the peel, so you just toss it rather than getting banana peel gunk on your face going in for the kill.

I can’t be the only one who does this.  Is there anyone out there who enjoys eating that cornflake mush?   I can’t bring myself to do it, but I should not be vilified for it.

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