The Burger King Kids Club – I.Q.

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I.Q. toy

I.Q.

Filling the “nerd” quota for being a racially diverse public relations group, we have “I.Q.”; a young prodigy who may or may not be Chuckie from Nickelodeon’s Rugrats grown up. I.Q. was a real whiz kid, and if you haven’t guessed by now by his name or scholarly attire, was considered the brains of the group.

Cartoon I.Q.

Although, one might argue, that intelligence is relative, as these kids all appeared to be very happy to eat and serve at Burger King. Take the above picture, for example. Here we see the boy grasping a hamburger that appears to be smoldering hot. Would any person of intelligence really attempt to touch something so hot that it has tangible heat lines? Perhaps there is something we don’t know. Perhaps I.Q. invented some kind of artificial skin weave that can withstand such searing heats. One might question how he plans to bite and digest such a normally threatening item, but I have confidence that he’s got it all figured out.

Another thing that he’s figured out is how to dress for success, if you define success by the number of times you get beat up in a day. I.Q. is never seen without his hip Sally Jesse Raphael frames and messy red hair. He also is found wearing a bow tie and some kind of lab coat, either green or white, with complementary brown khakis and a fine brown orthopedic shoe. Sometimes he’ll casual it up a bit, as I again reference the drawing above, where we see I.Q. wearing a stunning polo shirt (unbuttoned at the top as not to appear prudish) and some Timberlands. Like his advanced math and science courses, this kid has got fashion solved with points to spare.

For all his brains and style, I.Q. never really enjoyed the spotlight. In most of the advertisements he took a tertiary role, usually helping the other characters construct a kid’s meal, or teach an adult that it’s not okay to be an adult. With so many personalities and such a short amount of time per spot, certain characters are destined to be left out. This is quite literally the case in the Middle East, where Burger King stores continue to use the Gang for their kids’ meal promotion, only without I.Q. and Jazz. Better luck next time little guy, but think of it this way; you can use all this time off to invent a device that will make us all forget that the creepy “Burger King” ever happened.

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